Peter Bradshaw, a Guardian film critic has written a one-star review of The Incredible Hulk all in Hulk-speak:
“Hulk. Smash!” Yes. Hulk. Smash. Yes. Smash. Big Hulk smash. Smash cars. Buildings. Army tanks. Hulk not just smash. Hulk also go rarrr! Then smash again. Smash important, obviously. Smash Hulk’s USP. What Hulk smash most? Hulk smash all hope of interesting time in cinema. Hulk take all effort of cinema, effort getting babysitter, effort finding parking, and Hulk put great green fist right through it. Hulk crush all hopes of entertainment. Hulk in boring film. Film co-written by star. Edward Norton. Norton in it. Norton write it. Norton not need gamma-radiation poisoning to get big head. Thing is: Hulk head weirdly small. Compared with rest of big green body.
Charlie Brooker on the pseudoscience behind Brain Gym:
Confuse fantasy with reality and you might find yourself doing crazy things, like trying to wave hello
to Ian Beale each time you see him on the telly, or buying homeopathic remedies - both of which are
equally boneheaded pursuits.
Equally:
Look at the accredited practitioners of the art: top of their list of qualified Brain Gym
“instructor/consultants” is a woman who is apparently also a “chiropractor for humans and animals”.
That’s nothing: I read tarot cards for fish.
January 31, 2008 – 2:06 pm
January 4, 2008 – 8:52 pm
Photographs of adverts on the street that have been “vandalised” to look like the people in them have been decapitated.
January 4, 2008 – 5:04 pm
ThinkGeek is selling an alarm clock that sends a donation to an organisation you don’t like every time you press the snooze button. This must be a joke, especially with this text at the bottom:
Really Fine Print: ThinkGeek reserves the right to take up to a 50% commision on all
donations made through the SnuzNLuz. In fact the software supplied with the clock ensures
such is the case. Yay!. However, we promise to only use the money for rockets and beach
front property.
January 4, 2008 – 12:13 am
Some seriously bad knockoffs of Pixar’s Ratatouille and Cars, called Ratatoing and The Little Cars. (Via MetaFilter.)
January 3, 2008 – 1:18 am
From the BBC’s Magazine Monitor, 100 things we didn’t know last year, including:
To be found attractive, women should sway their hips and men their shoulders
and
There is mobile phone reception from the summit of Mount Everest.
They also have lists for 2006, 2005 and 2004.
December 28, 2007 – 11:14 pm
A list compiled by The BEAST of it’s 50 most loathsome people in America, number 9 being “you”:
Charge: You believe in freedom of speech, until someone says something that offends you. You suddenly give a damn about border integrity, because the automated voice system at your pharmacy asked you to press 9 for Spanish. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence to the contrary. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism — it’s nationalism when foreigners do it. You hate anyone who seems smarter than you. You care more about zygotes than actual people. You love to blame people for their misfortunes, even if it means screwing yourself over.
Sentence: A gradual decline into abject poverty as you continue to vote against your own self-interest. Death by an easily treated disorder that your health insurance doesn’t cover. You deserve it, chump.
October 17, 2007 – 11:30 pm
October 9, 2007 – 3:48 pm
Bahadur Chand Gupta, an ex-Indian Airlines engineer, bought an old Airbus 300 and is offering people the chance to experience a flight without actually taking off.
As on an ordinary aircraft, customers buckle themselves in and watch a safety demonstration.
But when they look out of the windows, the landscape never changes. Even if “Captain” Gupta
wanted to get off the ground, the plane would not go far: it only has one wing and a large part of
the tail is missing.
One “passenger” commented that “it is much more beautiful than I ever imagined”. I’d question whether she would still hold the same opinion if she experienced the security checks, queues, delays, customs and the rest of the baggage that comes with modern aviation.
August 15, 2007 – 2:04 pm
March 25, 2007 – 11:06 pm
Including one I’ve just realised myself, There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
February 15, 2007 – 9:57 am
It’s not every day that you read a post on a website from a former editor that attacks that website, its readers and the writers. But you can on Gizmodo.
You want to know the punchline? The average Joe that makes up the market is smarter than you saps. The market-at-large waits until a clear leader emerges, then takes a modest plunge. You may think you’re making up the “bleeding edge” of “gadget pimpatude” but you’re really just a loose confederation of marks the consumer electronics industry uses as free market research and easy money.